March 22, 2018

THAT ONE NIGHT I BROKE INTO MY BOYFRIEND'S HOUSE

i've had this little story in my pocket for years now. yeaaarrrrrsss. it's actually turned into a bit of a running joke between that farmer of mine and me. question - have you ever been the "crazy girlfriend?" i'm convinced it's not because we're actually crazy. it's because our significant others make us crazy...riiiiight? read on. (or at least enjoy these suuuuuper blast from the past photos...oh to be young and drinking all the time.)

yes - i too, at one point, was that crazy girlfriend. but friends...it wasn't me. it was him. HE was making me crazy. we'd been dating for about five years and i was just over it. there was this constant when is he going to propose cloud hanging over me and i just wanted it to happen already. he was living an hour away and i was in this weird limbo. and by limbo i mean i still lived in boise, committed to my farmer, but without any of the benefits of being committed. there were no after work dates. there were no concerts on the weekends. there were no spontaneous weekend trips.

instead, i was driving out the the farm every weekend to be with my farmer while he worked. after over a year of him doing the farming thing (and still no ring) i was over it. i just wanted to either move on or get the party started - and by "party" i mean move to a farm where there was definitely not going to be a party.

fast forward a few months and there was still. no. ring. STILL NO RING! and my farmer had canceled plans with me in boise for probably the 3934829029384 time...because...farming.

i called him as i was climbing into bed that night and what started as an annoyed conversation quickly escalated to an ultimatum conversation. i don't think i ever actually said...either propose or we're through, but i'm sure he was getting the message loud and clear. and if there is one thing my farmer hates...it's an ultimatum or any kind of manipulation. he'll run in exactly the opposite direction. and that guy can run. just ask his friends...or ex-girlfriends. or me.

okay...so this phone conversation dragged on and on and ooooooonnnn doing the proverbial are you or aren't you dance and i ultimately decided i was done talking, i wasn't getting the answers i wanted, and therefore...we were breaking up. and so i did. and so we did. we broke up...right there on the phone at about 11:30 pm on a tuesday.

cue me hanging up the phone and i immediately start sobbing. what. had. i. done?! karli...you dumb dumb idiot. this was not the way i had wanted things to go...cleaaarrrrly. and so...as a rational 26 year old (ie. not rational) i packed up my work clothes / overnight bag and drove an hour to the farm...at 12:30 in the morning. because...why not? i had to fix what i had just done.

sidenote - what i didn't know is that my farmer had been cutting and baling alfalfa for the past week which meant he was on close to no sleep...and this was his first time in his bed in as many nights.

as i pulled up to the farm...and his little single-wide trailer (yes...single-wide trailer), the quasi-sane side of me kicked in and thought - karli, what the eff-word have your done / are you doing?

saving my relationship...duh.

so, at some time between 1:30 and 2 am (while everything was pitch black...this is a farm people, no city lights), i snuck into my farmer's trailer, back to his bedroom, leaned down to his bed (crrrrrreeeepy, right?!) and whispered, "russssssellll, it's me, kaaaarrrrlllli."

he obviously shot out of bed...terrified.

and that's the running joke now. on occasion, while he's sleeping, i'll sneak up beside his side of the bed, give him a nudge and say my line - russssellll, it's me, kaaaaarrrrlllli. and give him my best set of crazy eyes and a super creepy smile.

clearly we made up that night. we were obviously married...two years later. he proposed an entire year after this incident. and praise be we don't live in the single-wide trailer anymore.

so, for all you single ladies...if you've found a good one that isn't ready to commit. hang in there and take any and all opportunities to break into his house.

for all you married gals...did you ever pull a stunt like this? or am i the only crazy? probably.

if so...feel free to leave a comment (it can be anonymous) below!

7 comments:

  1. Oh this post is golden! I am sure I have done my share of crazy things but I am having a hard time remembering what they may have been ha ha. It took my husband close to five years to finally propose so I feel you there.

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  2. This is awesome. Thanks for sharing. I haven't done that, but I am sure I have done some pretty cringe worthy things in my relationship. Ha.

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  3. I think your breaking and entering career started when you convinced me to break into that house on the middle fork. I mean, it was unlocked, but...

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  4. My husband and I started dating when I was 21 (he was at my 21st birthday party)- I had to do the ultimatum thing 'If I don't have a ring by my 30th birthday we're done' (this was at 28) - He proposed a couple of weeks before my birthday and all was well

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  5. Oh my gosh, this is super fantastic especially since it all worked out. Ha! I was crazy too, my now husband was all about not getting married again & I laid it out there for him too. I also broke in while he was sleeping once & not because anything had to be fixed, I was just at a friend's house & decided to let myself in after some wine. Tee hee!

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  6. And then there was the whole wedding night break-in thing but wait!...I’m sure that story is going to be next 😋❤️

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  7. Haha, you are hysterical my friend - and not crazy but passionate!x

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