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September 01, 2016

WHEN THE THIRD BABY PROBLEM SLAPS YOU IN THE FACE

i wouldn't say i typically use this space (or ever) for deep thoughts...by karli. but i have something that weighs so heavily on me each day it's hard to not want to write about it.

it's that pesky decision that will change your life all over again - the third baby.

i swore and swore and swore we were done with two. call it a day, you were never going to see me with a belly again...unless i decided to go back to my nightly ice cream eating ways.

i began making plans to change sawyer's nursery into my office. i have really good ideas to make it a combo space so we can hide away all the girl's arts and crafts goodies too. and the ever-important questions - what should my desk look like? should i buy a huge monitor? what about a couch? our grey couch would look great in that room...and then i could get a new couch for the great room. crown moulding or chair rail or both? new curtains? new artwork? how will i hide the cords? i hate cords...

but...i keep refraining from pulling any sort of trigger because...what about that third baby?

the girls will have a really good day and i'll think - oh yes. baby #3 - i can do that.

then, the next day will be hell on earth with endless tantrums and fights and maybe kaye even decides to leave a 20 foot pee trail through the house because she didn't make it to the bathroom (happened two days ago) and i think - ah helllllllll no. third? what was i thinking? 

then i think about how kaye will be in school soon and sawyer just after that and i get a little sad...but then i get a little happy because i think about how fun and fulfilled i've felt since starting Karli Bell Branding & Design. i mean...i'm not making a ba-gillion dollars, but i'm making enough to support an excessive lulu lemon habit...and i can even buy my farmer a birthday present with my very own money...or book us a vacation or two.

(that's right - his money is our money and my money is my money.)

speaking of vacation - have a third baby? i feel like we'd be on hold again. and then when we're not on hold...who on earth would want to watch three kids? we can barely find someone to watch both girls for one night.

and of course there is the breast feeding and waking up multiple times a night for months and mountains of diapers and and and...yay. it all seems so wonderful.

but in all reality...it is pretty wonderful.

ultimately - what's holding me up from making the decision to or to not go for this third kid is the future. yeah yeah yeah, the baby phase is great. super cute. super easy. but what about the future? the idea of attending their extra curricular activities and skiing together and holidays with a big family and generally the chaos that comes with having three mini-adults running around the house sounds amazing.

that third baby. baby baby baby.

in other news - it's my birthday month. you can find me online shopping.
20 comments on "WHEN THE THIRD BABY PROBLEM SLAPS YOU IN THE FACE"
  1. From a Mama of 3, I say do it! We waffled back and forth for a while but ultimately knew we wanted a big family. Whatever you decide will be right for you guys!

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  2. If you're happy with the family you've already created, keep it at that. You have a choice. YOU.
    Never feel pressured to create life.
    On the contrary...if you decide to, be sure to read this post after s/he's born. You will be filled with emotions you probably didn't know existed. Good ones I'd assume.
    Your goals that have yet to be accomplished will be on hold. The office will slowly disappear or relocate. The thought alone seems to stress you. Craving a vacation without morning sickness and a big belly.

    It's completely up to you. When you decide, speak to your significant other. Maybe write the pros and cons of adding on to the family. Then share and compare with your husband. Will open both of your eyes about the idea and different (maybe un-thought of pros or cons).

    Wish you the best!!
    Also, never feel you can't post about something on your blog. That's what a lifestyle blog is for!!

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  3. This is a REAL struggle friend! One that we have felt for over a year - the difference is, we have always known that we want three! Three was always our number when we first spoke about a family and babies... But i can be so daunting and JUST when you feel like you are getting your life back...

    I always say - trust your heart. Just as the jump is from none to one and one to two, you always make it work and you will love it once the tough times subside...

    Thinking of you and praying for your peace through this decision x

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  4. This is me all day ever day lately. Toady I want a third. Tomorrow? Probably not. Also, get my husband on the baby train is basically impossible. His direct quote: Pregnant Desiree is not a fun Desiree.
    So, there's that.
    Cheers to (maybe) baby #3!

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  5. Thing is, if you have a third, you just adapt. It's a natural process, it's something you have to do so you do, and it would be chaos at times but it'd also be amazing & of course worth it! But you're right, kids restricts a lot of what you can do. BUT, it's only for a time. When you think about how fast time really flies by, especially in retrospect, is it worth it to give up some freedom right now for that much more love, hugs & kisses?! Of course! Because even if you have a third, it won't be long and they'll all be away in school & then graduated and so on, and then you'll have too much time to try & fill in all on your own. These are the things i keep telling myself as a mom of 2 with my youngest being 3 and me wanting a baby again...but, in my case, i medically can not have any more now. So be happy that you can choose! (or maybe life will just throw in it's own little surprise for you! ha!)

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  6. This is me recently. Three, we are so on the fence and have moments of no way not again and other times when I think about a third, a lot. We've packed away baby clothes just in case, but then I love where we're at right now too. Ugh, it's so hard to say. On a happier note, yay for September birthdays :) Beautifully Candid

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  7. You know what I'm going to say!!!! Do it.

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  8. I literally have these exact same thoughts multiple times a day. Granted #2 is only 4 months old so clearly we won't even be actually thinking about it for a few years. But when they are both screaming and demanding to be held I'm like hell no, we are DONE. But then they both fall asleep and I'm like yeah let's have another! So I get you...

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  9. Girl you've got to do what you and your Farmer feel is best for your family. If you are perfectly happy with just your two great, but if you feel like something/someone is missing that's great too. I'm not help, but here to support you! :)

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  10. I am the third of three girls. So of course, I'm glad my mom had a third baby. She often tells me she wasn't sure if she was done after 2, but she definitely knew she was done after 3. I can tell you we fought A LOT...and it always seemed to be 2 ganging up on 1. (This only applies if you have another girl) But I do have to say now, I love having two different sisters to turn to and am really close with them.

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  11. As a mom of three, I say DO IT! However, it does get tricky as they get older and your have several sports/activities to shuffle between, and homework for three, and it adds a whole other element to vacationing because most rooms/package deals are made for a family of 4. But those really are minor compared to the sibling love and house of fun kids!

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  12. girl I have this debate about number two!

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  13. Once there is more of them than parents, it gets more difficult. I don't know how my parents did it with FOUR of us. Oh & then when the girls hit those lovely teenage years, you'll want to give them away, believe me! Ha! But they are so wonderful. Decisions, decisions. What is your hubby's take on it? Would he like to try for a boy, perhaps?

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  14. Can I just say, I feel you? 100%. As in every word. For the most part (and publicly) I will say that I am done with my two girls -- largely impart for the reasons you said. I like our "balance" now, I love the idea of the babyfree vacations, etc.

    But privately, some part of me is still open to it. I click on articles about top baby names and think about potential names. I still have all of our girls outgrown clothes in the attic that I can't get rid of under the premise of what if.

    Can't wait to see what ultimate happens (for both of us!)

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  15. This is the debate we are having as well. I just don't know what to do. So many days I am like nope, no way and then I have the best day with my girls and want another. It is tough and something we are in the same place at. What does your Farmer think?

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  16. Coming from someone who just had #3 and he's 6 weeks old - I have to say I'm in love with him. And guess what? The sleep deprivation isn't as bad...the breastfeeding has been easier (because I really don't care and do it everywhere) and I have just LOVED having a baby again. And my 2 and 4 year old are in love as well.

    Is it crazy? Absolutely. Was it right for us? Absolutely.

    Not an easy decision, but one that only you can make (and make sure Farmer is on board because my husband has taken on big kid duty at night and it's totally necessary!)

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  17. I seriously wonder if o will ever know when we are done?! But we are currently trying for number 3. I knew after our second, that our family wasn't complete. Coming from a family of three I just love it! And you are in the same position as us (the first two are the same gender)... So tempting to have a third. A little farmer boy!!! Come on! (Note: I'm a cocktail and half a bottle of wine deep... Excuse all typing errors and nonsensical talk!) ;-)

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  18. My third came 18 months after her sister as a surprise!! Ha! That was almost 11 years ago and she is the funniest most stubborn girl that cracks us up everyday! On a side note she will probably be the one we have to bail out of jail. :)
    Jaymie
    www.jaymieashcraft.com

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  19. I could have written this myself. I totally feel you. I just have that feeling that my body is not done and I love being pregnant and selfishly want to experience it all again. But when...that is the question.

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  20. I am a mom of three and I say go for it. You will never know how they really fit into your plans until you actually do it. Sure there are days that are complete chaos but they are normally no different when there was just 2. I am currently purging baby stuff and thinking about a #4, call me crazy.

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