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May 12, 2016

WHAT TO DO WHEN A SNAKE CHARGES YOU

oh mercy. we had a touch of excitement on the farm yesterday.

and by excitement...i mean sheer terror.

yesterday morning the gals and i were outside. kaye was riding her bike. sawyer, i'm pretty sure, was eating a rock, and i was watering the flowers out front.

i glanced into the yard, as something had caught my eye. it was slappy our cat. she was pawing at the grass. i chalked it up to a mouse and thought, "yeah slappy. get those mice."

note - kaye named slappy. i have no idea where she got that name...but it stuck.

i continued watering the flowers until i saw slappy leap into the air. i was like - ???????

what the frick was going on over there?

i started walking that direction until i noticed it. it was a snake and it was hissing and lunging at slappy!

that's when the snake and i locked eyes. all i could think was that i didn't want slappy to experience death by snake. i mean...coyote, that's honorable. snake? that's just horrific.

okay...both are terrible, but let's just say slappy wouldn't be the first cat to meet his demise via coyote. we have an epic amount of them out here in farm country. you can hear them howl nightly...especially on clear nights.

so anyway, i turned the hose on the snake so it would leave slappy alone. (at this point there were about 30 feet between the snake and me. slappy ran from the water and the snake wasn't phased. huh?i know...cold-blooded and all that. that damn four foot snake didn't hesitate for a second. it immediately turned on me and started charging. and i do mean charging. it was slithering so so fast.

i jumped into action and hopped onto our front porch for a shovel that was there from our previous landscaping projects. i came down the steps, took aim (at this point the snake was just hissing at me) and i started swinging.

ummm...please stop reading if you have any sort of love for reptilian creatures.

i swung and i swung and i swung...and yes, i swung some more. sometimes i missed, but usually i hit. and mind you - i was screaming the entire time. thank god we don't have neighbors.

i swing until that snake wasn't moving anymore. i swung the blade of that shovel until it was in eight pieces.

by the time i turned around...my girls were standing behind me with bewilderment across their faces.

mommy is a snake murderer.

and that's what you do when a snake charges you.
26 comments on "WHAT TO DO WHEN A SNAKE CHARGES YOU"
  1. Girl those snaps just creeped me out!! I seriously just hate snakes and I'm super proud of you for snapping into action to protect your tribe!!

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  2. "Mommy is a snake murderer." I seriously just laughed out loud.

    If it makes you feel better, my mom used to run over snakes with the lawnmower when we were kids. Haha!

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  3. Oh my gosh, so scary! Sounds like you handled it like a champ, though!

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  4. Haha this is so great!! Once a tiny ring snake came into the garage and I grabbed the shovel and screamed in between hits; my mom thought I was beating my sister since we were arguing shortly before lol

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  5. First off, thank you for not including pictures. I can handle a snake murder story, but snake pictures stay in my head forever. Ugh!!! I have often wondered what I would do if I saw a snake and my husband wasn't home. I've been known to put a glass over a scorpion or spider before until he got home, but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't work for a snake. Scary!! I'm glade you were so brave!

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  6. O.M.G. I am shaking just reading this! First of all, way to be brave! We live by a field and there are always snakes in our yard too. Last week I was pulling Norah around the yard in her wagon and saw 3 snakes slither out in different directions right in front of us! I jumped in the wagon with her and actually cried, so you clearly handled this better than I would have.

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  7. This is one of my worst fears. I'm not kidding at all. I hate snakes, I hate everything about snakes. They move and they don't have feet...They look freaky and just..ew. I'd probably had run in the house crying and screaming and then realize my kids and pet were outside to fend for themselves. Then I'd probably not go out in the yard until I knew for sure there were no more snakes. You're braver than me. You killed the snake by yourself. Way to go!

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  8. Holy cow Karli!!!! That is just plain scary. Ugh! I hate snakes. I know that not all of them are bad and that in most cases they have a great job to do for us, but yikes. Thank God the girls were otherwise occupied and not near it. Dare I ask what kind of a snake?

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  9. Oh dear god I just got the chills reading this. Snakes are disgusting!! Thank goodness the girls were nowhere near it! What kind was it?? Was it poisonous?!

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  10. Girl. A snake is a snake. I am an animal person, and even I have no problem with how you reacted to that situation. It sounded like a very aggressive one at that (and poisonous???) and the only good ending to that story was the way it ended. On a side note, I scream when I kill bugs - and we definitely have neighbors. So a snake situation here at our house? Would probably end up with a phone call to the police or something, lol!

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  11. I felt like I was having a panic attack just READING this post! You're one brave Mama!

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  12. Holy Poop. I would have been running and screaming as if my life was over. I had a bad snake experience when I was younger and are now scared for life. And then I just made that comment about being young, so don't think that will happen to the girls LOL.

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  13. That is a freaky experience. I didn't realize there were aggressive snakes in Idaho. A little scary.

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  14. Snakes are one of my biggest fears in our new town! They are everywhere - especially rattlers! Ahh, this post made me super nervous for you and I can only imagine the looks on the girls faces! Good job on the quick reactions. -xx Leah || Chasing Texas

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  15. Funny but not funny! I despise snakes so I would probably have pee'd my pants and let the snake have its way! Mom to the rescue! Such a slugger!! LOL

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  16. I would have literally DIED!!!! You are so brave!

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  17. Gah. I hate snakes!! With a passion!!!

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  18. Goodness gracious, that's terrifying! Good for you for protecting your nest! I live in Texas where we have snakes aplenty, and I once came home to a giant one right out my neighbor's door, trying to get into the house- I don't know what I would have done if he had decided to go after me instead!

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  19. I had anxiety reading this story!! It all
    Worked out in the end but UGH! I would have stared crying and ran. I hate snakes.

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  20. They freak the heck out of me!! I killed my first rat last week and I still shake when I think about it. It got caught in a rat trap...but just one of its back legs so I had to put it out of its misery....eek

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  21. I bow to you and your bravery. I'd have been like peace! Sorry Slappy! Hopefully I'd have the sense to scoop up my kids first ;) and then I'd be inside lol

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  22. Wanna know what I do? I run like a crazy fool :)

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  23. OMG!!!!! This is honestly my worst nightmare in one post - I would absolutely die! Do you know what snake it was? We have so many snakes in our Estate (and some crazy dangerous ones like black mambas, green mambas, spitting cobras and pythons!!) and I am absolutely terrified! I haven't seen any yet but it is only a matter of time... I would also snap the sh** out of it!!!
    x

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  24. Oh my gosh, I would have ran away screaming like a lil girl! I hate snakes, they have no soul, you know! No limbs, no soul. Blah! Kudos to you for being a tough chick & being rid of that thing! Yucky!

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