February 24, 2016


yesterday was a bad day.

kaye actually looked at me at one point around 4 pm and told me i had crazy eyes.

and you know what. i probably did.

i had been at the end of my sanity rope since about 1 pm.

sawyer had already blown out two diapers and i'm nearly positive ate the better part of a large, pink crayon. i guess that will be confirmed tomorrow when i see crayola paper in her drawers.

overall, i would say sawyer was perpetually unhappy the majority of the day. minus the 20 minutes i put her in the shower because i wasn't sure what else to do with her. and she liked lunch. and she wasn't crying during her nap...so there were a few wins in there.

kaye was great...and usually is great unless something completely and totally obscure and irrelevant sets her off...then you would think i told her i was going to burn all her toys in front of her. huh?

sobbing - fit throwing - screaming - negotiating

99% of the time i try my entire bag of tricks...and 99% of the time i end up sending her to her room until she can calm down.

the particular kaye-fit that induced my crazy eyes had to do with a band-aid and her requesting i take it off her knee...and then not wanting me to take it off. and then wanting me to take it off...and then not wanting me to take it off. finally...i told her i was done and that when she was ready to come get me i'd help her out. this just made her scream and cry harder. so i told her she needed to go calm down in her room. and she did.

all about a bandaid covering a non-existent wound.

she soon came upstairs and told me she was calm and ready to be a good girl. great! exactly what i wanted to hear...especially because sawyer hadn't stopped crying for nearly two hours. granted...she's sick, but when it gets to the point where she insists on me holding her and insists on crying directly in my ear...i could feel my sanity slipping.

there was a blessed moment where sawyer faked interest in the iPad. kaye was quickly onto her game and ripped it from her hands. sawyer broke our blessed peace with wales of grief and i told kaye she needed to give it back.

first - kaye wouldn't give the iPad back.

second - kaye threw a fit and actually stomped her feet. i was like...uhh? oh no you di'int.

so now kaye was crying AND sawyer was still crying. i could feel the crazy boiling up inside me. if i'm recalling correctly i think i clapped my hands loudly three times and i may have even growled in frustration. and by growled i mean screamed or cursed or maybe it was an actual growl. whatever it was...it wasn't my finest moment.

my finest moment came in the seconds that followed when i had a moment of clarity and picked sawyer up and put her in her crib. i then grabbed kaye and put kaye in sawyer's crib.

kaye is fully capable of crawling out of said crib but i do believe they were both flabbergasted. i watched the monitor as they looked at each other and looked to the door and back to each other. several minutes of glorious silence passed. pretty soon kaye had sawyer laughing and i hear kaye say over the monitor, "see mommy. bitty likes me. she's laughin'"

nothing like sweet words from your three year old to make you feel like a crazed asshole.

and then...as i sit here writing i realize our day wasn't so bad. just about five hours were rough. we started off with kaye wearing her new sunglasses saying, "i'm going to be a movie star."

we headed over to the shop and visited our farmer while he worked on equipment. we walked down and saw some chickens and the goats.

later, while bitty napped, kaye and i got our workout in.

after lunch we headed outside - it was the first time i was excited it was windy. i had purchased a kite for the gals in california and we needed to give it a test run. kaye got a turn. bitty got a turn. i chased after it more than five times when they inevitably let the handle go...even after i reminded kaye each time, "hold on super tight with your super strength." she cried and told me, "i don't have super strength, mama."

let's just forget our rough moments. we had a good day.


  1. Aww, Mama we all have those days!! Give yourself grace. :) Those heart sunnies are perfect and I adore the kite pictures.

  2. Goodness girl! It may not have been a rough day overall, but damn those 5 hours sound stressful. I've been there so many times. I've growled in frustration before and put them in their rooms so I could have 2 minutes of a break even if they are both still crying. Emmy has recently had days just like Sawyer's. I blame it on some incoming teeth, but it sucks! Hang in there momma. You handed it spendidly and everyone survived. I hope today is a better day!

  3. Oh Mama...those are the days when you actually do some growing too! I seriously have a 14 and 10 year old and there are still days their little punk asses just push me to my total limit and I lose my shiz. Grace...give it to them and they learn to give it back to you and everyone lives happily ever after. :)

  4. My mother in law claps her hands at Henry, not when she is frustrated, but whenever she wants his attention... the same way she does with the dogs. It's my favorite. not. But I totally understand clapping when you've reached the end of your rope.

  5. Everyone has those days . We've had a few recently. It is what it is. It's all part of the gig. Hang in there!

  6. I only have one so I don't know how you do it with two! Just now I was pumping in the living room when the FedEx man rang the doorbell because I had a package I needed to sign for, sending the dogs crazy and waking the baby. I answered the door trying to hold the dogs back in a sweatshirt with my pump parts still underneath and a baby screaming in the background haha! I'm sure I was quite the site. I'm pretty sure I scared him!

  7. I just found your blog through another, and it looks like I caught you on a rough, but very real day. I love your honesty and I love that you blog about the good AND the bad. Those days are always the worst. I hope that everyone has a much better day today!

    XO Lindsay at Lindsay's Sweet World

  8. I feel you. I had a day like that yesterday too. I just wanted to scream. Unfortunately, screaming would have just added to the din that was already going on in my home. Sometimes we all have days like that. Let's just be thankful that we have pretty solid sets of sanity, amen? Otherwise, we really might lose it during times like these, ha!

  9. Oh my, what a day. I totally feel ya though. Hopefully, Sawyer will be feeling better tomorrow & there will be less tears & growling. :)

  10. I'm sorry you had a rough day. We all have those days! My two little ones had cabin fever today. We just HAD to go outside. Thank goodness for the farm behind our house. I let them loose in the big field, then ran for a half hour, and everyone returned in a better mood!

  11. So glad you were able to see the positive in that crazy day. I love your blog! My 2 little guys have that love/can we take him back to the hospital thing down pat also:-)

  12. Glad you were able to find the positives in your day! We have all been there, sometimes you just have to walk away and take a minute to breath. My favorite is locking myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes and eating candy I've hidden in the cabinets... good parenting ;).

  13. Oh goodness. I'm glad you brought the positive of yesterday out!

  14. Some days you just can't even for one more dang second! And I've screamed in frustration on more than one occasion for sure. Not even at Aria, just in general to release some of the feels. Kids, man. Such toads sometimes.

  15. Crazy eyes and asshole yup I've resembled both of those parenting moments.

  16. I'm pretty sure we lived the same day yesterday...crazy eyes and all. I just wish I would've thought to put both of mine in Nash's. Noted! Seriously though...is it Spring yet?

  17. Your kiddos are adorable. My kids are teens and we still have rough days.

  18. Oh sweet friend, we ALL have these days - some more than others! High fives to you for finding the goo din these bad days!! You are one rocking mama x

  19. These types of post really help other mothers way more than ones where life looks Pinterest perfect. Great job!


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