HAPPY SATURDAY CONFESSIONAL DAY!
guess what i'm doing right now? probably running my 11th mile on a relay team with a group of super awesomely fun gal-faces. i couldn't be in a happier place...
...especially since we have an awesome contributor today! eh-hum...kary...which is almost like karli so i really really like her.
but before her confessional...the bizz.
as always, if any of you fine gals have a confessional list or confessional story you want to share here on September FARM get in on the action by visiting my advertising page! this is a brand new ad space that you get to take over for saturday, sunday, and a solid portion of monday! read more about the spot here!
also...should you be feeling extra snazzy and you want others to enjoy these confessionals...feel free to grab the button below (HERE)!
k...now back to kary...
You see, there was the time that I was asked on a date by a homeless man, who was very disappointed to learn that I was not homeless too. That's what I get for deciding I looked presentable enough to meet my friends at a bar without heading home to shower after a day at the beach.
Then there was the time I spent hours with one of my front teeth missing, all because I decided to run around a tree in the wrong direction. Fortunately (unfortunately??) that was well before the era of the iphone and I didn't think to take a picture of my face in that state. I did take the time to doctor one of my wedding photos to imagine what I'd look like if the tooth hadn't been replaced. I fixed my husband up too, just for good measure.
You'd think now that I've become a mom my life would have gotten very dull and I wouldn't have any thing to confess, but that is not the case.
Very recently I had to call my own mother to come out in her yoga pants, to pick my drunk husband and myself up from a little bar we like to call, "the trailer bar", because, well, it's a bar, in a trailer. (Yes, I did yell into the bar, "Babe, my mom's here!! Time to go!" when I saw her pull in the parking lot. It was necessary.)
Not too long before that my entire house was covered in puppy pee pads because for two solid weeks I was putting a diaper on my son wrong, but I was convinced that diapers just didn't work on him. You know what they should tell you at those birthing classes? Point the wiener down. That's some useful information, right there.
I should also confess that in that foggy haze, newborn at home days, I shook my bare chest at my neighbor's house. Yep, you read that right. The thing is that breastfeeding hurt, and the lanolin, gel pads, ice packs, etc. did not help those first few days. What did help was not wearing a shirt, so I refused to put one on for nearly 5 days. So my husband, mom, dad and best friend were forced to go about their daily business pretending that my nipples weren't staring them in the face. At one point my dad jokingly said, "Hey, I think the neighbors behind you haven't gotten a glimpse yet". Never joke with a hormonal woman. I gave him the worst stink eye I could muster, marched myself over to that sliding glass door, shook my "taters" right at their house and said, "There, now they have. Got a problem?". My dad wisely said, "Nope. No problem at all".
I can't believe I posted that picture on the internet. Can I just post one that I like to make myself feel better?
Ah, that's better.
My current mom confession? I won't let my son's favorite toy leave the house. Mostly because I'm afraid I'll lose it, but also because I don't want to have to explain to strangers that my son's best friend is named "Dirty Kitty", but that's a story for another day.
Well, new friends, this has been fun. I can't wait to hear some of your confessions! Thanks for having me over to the blog, Karli! You're welcome over at my little place on the internet anytime.
oh gal. thank you thank you so much for sharing your hilarious confessions with us all. i can DEFINITELY say with confidence you've brightened my day...and many others.
speaking of you others...if you're inspired to share a confessional and would like to take over September FARM for an entire weekend, visit my advertise page and pick the saturday confessional! i'm offering 25% off to the first four gals that want in on the action. use code: SATURDAY25