March 03, 2014

that one time i was in a pageant

you read that correctly.

i was in a pageant in college.

a good friend of my farmer's stopped by the farm today. well…in a weird twist of fate, that good friend of my farmer is dating my old boyfriend's littler sister.

that got me thinking about that period of time in my life. the period of time when i was in a pageant the spring before i graduated from college.
i competed for the title of miss tri-counties which was a local competition to qualify for miss idaho. you would not believe how hard it is for me to type that out. it's my shame.

my. shame.

long long ago (2005) i was somehow convinced by a gal i went to college with that i could totally have a chance at winning some cold, hard cash in a pageant.

i like cash. i'll do a pageant. that was basically all i thought about before i submitted my paperwork.

it would be super easy. slap on some makeup. prance around in a bathing suit. do a talent. yeah…i got this.
you guys…i literally thought i had a shot. come to find out…i had a shot in hell.

because i thought i had a shot i invited everyone. i wanted these people to see my crowning moment, literally.

i had the following in attendance: college friends, high school friends, friends from san francisco, my boyfriend, my boyfriend's mom and sister, and my parents. i even won an award for having the most people there. i was nearly positive i was going to win that sparkly crown.

if i didn't win a title i would surely win miss congeniality, right? wrong.
allow me to list for you…

sure signs i wasn't going to win this pageant

#1 | i was 20 pounds overweight. could someone have told me to hit a treadmill? sure. did they? no. should i have looked in a mirror? yes. did i? yes. was i delusional? yes. hey…when you have self-esteem you have self-esteem.

#2 | i had absolutely no talent. so what did i do? i sang a song. the musical stylings of karli belting out boogie woogie bugle boy by the andrew sisters. did i mention i can't carry a tune? scratch that. i'm not terrible terrible, but i'm certainly not good enough to be singing anything in front of an audience unless i'm drunk and there's a karaoke duet happening to don't go breakin' my heart by elton john.

#3 | i made some questionable choices the night before the pageant. let's just say there was some giggling and some eating. my friends are terrible influences.

i remember the girl who talked me into the pageant stopped by that evening to give me some of her pageant tools and was shocked and appalled at my actions. "karli!" i think is all she could say.

#4 | what did i eat? chinese food. what is the one type of food you should probably stay away from the night before a pageant? chinese food. how about a plate of sodium before you hop into a bikini? perfect.

well…i think it goes with out saying (but i'll say it), i certainly didn't win. not first, second, or third. i didn't win best personality. i didn't win swimsuit or interview.

i won most ticket sales. see? here i am with my "most ticket sales" medal on.
at least i won something.
the night wasn't a total bust. i left with great friends, a bunch of flowers, too much makeup, and a stiff drink. 

and if i get a wild hair…i really think i could win the mrs. pageant in my farm town's population of 100. 

in. the. bag.


  1. LOL. Did you really perform boogie woogie bugle boy?

    Most ticket sales medal. I'm about to fall off of my couch.

    Best post ever.

  2. FWIW, I thought that you looked great!

  3. Your honest life moments are pretty hilarious. You know I could never do a pageant, I love Chinese food and would probably do the exact same not thinking and don't have any pageant talent thats for sure.

  4. I don't think that I would ever be able to enter a pageant. I cringe watching Toddlers and Tiaras - I wouldn't have gone far if I had decided to enter one. Good on you for giving it a go though!

    Sophie xxx

  5. Way to work that self confidence I love it!

  6. And remember I cried because I was so proud of you?!?!

  7. I did Junior Miss in high school. Still not sure how I got convinced to do that.

  8. Hilarious! Ha loved reading this! Sounds like it was a fun memory!

  9. Omg can I please tell you that I wish I was there? am props to you and your confidence. I have always wanted to do a pageant but have no talent either...why didn't my mom set me up? Anyways nice work I'm impressed!

  10. It was totally worth the memory and story that you have to tell because of it!

  11. bahaha omg yes! i did the same thing, except i got runner-up out of like 12 people. it was for a czech pageant, state level. meh, my pageant days are over as well!! you did just fine, and you weren't over weight!!! but congrats on having the most sales, hey thats a win in my books!

  12. Oh my god. There is just too much with this but the best is that you just decided you were going to rock out a pageant and you did. Love the sass girlfriend.

    And I'm not seeing the 20lbs and think you are one hot mama.

    Ps will you please sing that song of yours via a vlog some day.

  13. Literally had tears reading this...from my laughter. It sounds like something I would totally do. This is hilarious.

  14. Hahaha! This is hilarious! Love the story. Though I agree, I totally can't see the 20 lbs at all!

  15. Too funny! Sounds like something I would do eating Chinese food the night before when you shouldn't be bloated...

  16. Okay I am pretty much peeing my pants from laughter while reading this post! And HI! I just stumbled across your blog from Living in Yellow! :) SO glad I did!!!

    your newest reader (You can call me Emily. It's fine.)

  17. This just made my day! haha thank you for sharing. And you look beautiful!

  18. You don't look overweight at all! I always wanted to compete in a pageant and I used to think similarly to you, I thought it was going to be a piece of cake to win!

  19. I'm officially convinced that we can totally be friends (and that I need to find my photographic evidence of this time in my life). I, however, WAS Miss Congeniality (two years in a row...) and my friends subsequently dubbed it the ass kissing award and refused to ever be impressed.

  20. I love your blog and I love your stories.


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