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February 20, 2014

what really happened on our wedding night | p. 2

i'm going to get right to it since i have the nervous sweats right now. it's a true PSA (public service announcement) for not drinking…or at least not drinking too much on your wedding night.

i am literally sweating as i type, thinking of people reading about what really happened on our wedding night.


if you have yet to read p. 1, you're going to want to run over to the daily tay to snag that. she's graciously allowed me to share the first half of my story on her blog.

|pause|

great. have you read p. 1? then you're all set for p. 2…

where did we leave off?

oh yes, the elderly gal shot up in bed and exclaimed…"what are you doing in my bedroom?!"

(please remember, i'm in the elderly gal's bathroom getting sick.)

my farmer, from what he has told me, stumbled backwards with our bags in hand and said, "we rented this place for our wedding night."

at this point, my sister could kind of hear what was going on and quickly cleaned (god love her) and ushered me outside.

my farmer, on the other hand, was receiving a tongue-lashing from the OWNER of all the bungalows.

we had broken into her personal home, obviously. she lived in 121 and we were supposed to be resting our sleepy heads in an unmarked 121 1/2.

friends…i didn't marry my farmer for his land. he's a silver-tongued devil if there ever was one.

he charmed that old gal right out of prosecution and into an invitation for breakfast the next morning.

he simply explained that the door was open and it was our wedding night and blah blah blah. i can't imagine the conversation went exactly like that, but i know how his talents of persuasion work.

basically, he's just about the most charming farmer ever.

she showed us to our bungalow and we got all settled in…

except for the screen was still off her window. a dead giveaway that we had broken in.

at about 4 am (the most ungodly of hours), my farmer snuck to her home again and replaced the screen.

and that, my friends, is exactly what happened on our wedding night.

it's also exactly how i knew i'd married the farmer of my dreams.

a few more pictures? sure…

what a hangover looks like the day after you wedding…
what having to face your friends and tell them the story the next day looks like…
that's my sister on the left. she was already privy to my shame. 

what it looks like before you're charged with breaking and entering…
thanks for stopping in for this two-part series. 

should you be feeling generous don't hesitate follow along!
49 comments on "what really happened on our wedding night | p. 2"
  1. Classic! Good thing your farmer is an old lady charmer!
    Eva Marie

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    1. he's the worst. you should see him around old ladies. it's like he reaches an epic level of flirtation.

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  2. HAHAHA love it! Following! :)

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  3. Oh myyy! Hahah! Wow! I would've died! Too funny!

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    1. i nearly did die…of alcohol poisoning! (not really…but i felt like death the next day.) it was all i could do to hold it together as we chatted nicely with the old gal the next morning.

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  4. This is just about the most amazing story EVER!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  5. Oh my gosh, that is hilarious! I had to stop by from IWYP to find out the rest of the story :D

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  6. oh my gosh this is hilarious!

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  7. I had to come read the rest of the story and I seriously busted out laughing so loud that my husband asked me what was so funny! You got a new follower in me!

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  8. Umm yes. I loved this whole story. I came right over after I read the first part. Girl you are too funny. Love it!

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  9. That is hilarious, oh my god. Great story for sure.

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  10. Ok seriously. Could you get any better? Love this. Kinda love your farmer {sorry}. And I really love the elderly lady...I mean what would Kaye think of a blemish on your record?

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    1. honestly…when i posted this i was kind of scared it would somehow get back to that old gal and sh*t would go down. i guess we'll find out. :)

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  11. I loved this! Between your farmer and your sister, you are set for life!

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    1. you're right. i totally am. as much as i like to think i have my act together…i'm a ball of chaos. a loose cannon really. :)

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  12. I had to come over after part one, this story is hilarious! So glad I found your blog!

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  13. I had to pop over to your blog after reading the hilarious link up post from Whitney.. I was in literal tears at work and even shared this story with my colleagues. Brilliant post and a wonderful introduction to a new blog that I'm for sure going to follow!

    New follower on GFC!
    Lovely to have met you and can't wait to see more from you xx

    www.bohemianmuses.blogspot.com

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  14. It is a good thing he is so good with words!! Glad you had your sister there to help you.

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  15. This. Is. Too. Much. In the BEST way possible. i don't even know y'all and i love y'all and your relationship...definitely a wedding night to remember. forever. and ever. and ever.

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  16. It might have been all kinds of bad that night but who else has this great of a wedding story to tell...uh no one! This is great :)

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  17. This is one of the funniest stories I have ever heard! My wedding night was memorable for eating 4 pieces of leftover cake that I didn't get to eat at the actual wedding. I would say your story is slightly more entertaining :)

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  18. This is so awesome!!! Just found your blog through Whitney's and I can't wait to follow along with you :)

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  19. I seriously just burst out laughing. That is epic and I am glad that there are no mug shots of you sick in your wedding gown out there now. :)

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  20. Oh. My. Goodness. Gracious. DYING! What a night to remember!!! (You, and your wedding, were gorgeous, by the way!)

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  21. What a night to remember! You for sure married the right man. All I can imagine is how bad things could have gotten. I beat the farmer almost had a heart attack when that woman spoke. I am imagining it and oh it gives me shudders. Thankfully it is a wonderful hilarious story (minus the getting sick part). Memories!

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  22. Just stumbled on your blog and so happy I did. Hilarious! I'm planning my wedding now and will make sure we get directions and keys. ;)

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  23. Ahhh this sounds like something that could happen to me!! Glad it all worked out in the end though haha :)

    Jess xo

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  24. I can't say that I've ever heard a story quite like that before! hahaha.

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  25. Oh my gosh! This story just about had me rolling! I can only imagine how it was to go through this! Lol

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  26. This was probably the best first post of a blog I've ever read! haha!

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  27. This is great! Absolutely wonderful!

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  28. wow, this is awesome! I wish I had such an amazing story to tell about my wedding night ;) BTW - you are hilarious and I love your sense of humor & reading your posts.... they all crack me up!!! (I swear I'm not a creep! =))
    Have a fabulous weekend!!!!

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  29. Oh my gooooddnesss. This is exactly why I need to watch it with my drinking on my wedding day that's coming up!! Haha. SO happy I came across your blog. Can't wait to read more! Happy Friday!!! :)

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  30. Bahahahahaha....Love this!!! I find that wedding nights are seldom what people think..lol..

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  31. Oh my goodness--what a story!! One that will go down through the generations, I'm sure!

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  32. Wowza! At least it is one of those "This will be funny later" stories!

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  33. This is pretty much the most amazing wedding night story ever. I'm definitely going to be a new follower!

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  34. Amazing! New reader here!! Love it!!

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  35. I'm a wedding planner and this is by far one of the best wedding night stories I've heard! Nice to meet you! :)

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  36. omygosh!!! that is insane. Thankfully your husband got you out of trouble! But how embarrassing, awkward, uncomfortable, and every other bad feeling.

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  37. Oh girl! I thought I drank a little too much on my wedding night... this story is great! What an unforgettable first night as husband and wife!!

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  38. I love this humorous look at your wedding, shows that it's not all heightened emotions!

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  39. Haha... amazing! You looked pretty amazing the next day for someone who had been sick. I would have been on the couch all.day.long.

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