November 12, 2012

that one day when i really DID have a bebe


it was a monday. guess who STILL hadn't gone into labor? i was 10 days overdue and having yet another non-stress test to see how the fluids in the ol' ute (uterus) were doing. they had decreased. not to dangerous levels, but decreased which meant it was probably time for bebe to make an appearance.

that's when le doctor said, "you're going to have a bebe tomorrow."

"whoa whoa whoa. pump the brakes!" i declared.

i mean...i had been complaining A LOT about how uncomfortable i was. i think i even said, "i'll do anything to get this bebe out."

but when le doctor said that tomorrow was the day...i was panic-stricken. scared. sweating. lots and lots of sweating. mostly in the armpit area.

my farmer and i drove back to the farm to wait out our sentence. on the way back we rented a few movies and he bought me some frozen yogurt. i was feeling better and in complete denial. nothing like a little fro-yo to make you forget.

fast-forward to 4:30 am on 10.30

it was bebe day. at some point on tuesday, we would be meeting our child, cuddling our child, naming our child, and all that other new-parent stuff.

i showered, ate some toast, and loaded all 153 pounds of myself into the car. this was actually happening.

as we drove the one hour and 15 minutes to the hospital we discussed politics, the weather, what we would have for dinner that evening...

nope. we discussed none of those things.

we actually got busy about naming our bebe. now, this is usually quite a point of contention for farmer and me. it caused some pretty intense "silent-treatment" moments over the past few months.

(basically, i would get so fired up at his suggestions i couldn't talk about it anymore so i chose not to talk at all.)

but, as we approached le big city we had decided upon not only a boy name, but a girl name too! this was going to be a magical day. we were off to a great start.

we arrived at the hospital and quickly greeted and whisked away by the most amazing labor and delivery nurse EVER. ever. EVER. my dearest, most sweetest, most talented - cathie.

i couldn't be more thrilled to inform you that not only was she a bridesmaid in our wedding, but she was also going to be there for the birth of our bebe. it chokes me up just thinking about how lucky we were to have her there with us. (sheesh. so dusty in here. get it? the dust makes the eyes water? inside joke.)

okay, so i had my pillow, my farmer, and my cathie. i was ready.

boom - hook up the pit. (pitocin.)

boom - contractions begin. ouch.

as i experienced each contraction they have this funny way of breaking you down mentally. they get closer and closer and harder and harder. as they get closer and harder you obvs. have WAY less time to recover. your confidence is shaken. your emotions are rocked. you're hard-pressed to stay focused on the fact that the pain is temporary. that sucks.

when i arrived at the hospital that morning i was dilated to a two. five hours later i was only a four.

enter the tears. i felt like a failure, but this girl needed her epidural.

boom - hook up the epidural.

boom - guess who had a smile on her face?

boom - i puked. a puke well worth it for the relief from contractions.

what i  learned? be flexible with the birth-plan. if you need the epidural, swallow your pride. you are your own worst critic. you'll be hard-pressed to find someone who will judge you for going for the drugs. 

the following hours zoomed by and all of a sudden it was 4:30 pm. nurse cathie was going to begin prepping our room for the delivery.

*cue the sweating from my armpits*

at around 5:30 pm i was prepped and ready to begin pushing. and push i did. bebe was on the way.

after a few pushes my nurses had me pump the brakes. bebe was coming and le doctor was still at his kid's parent teacher conference. he had given me explicit instructions to NOT have bebe until he returned.

the nurses jumped on the phone and made sure he had some giddy-up in his giddy-up. he needed to get to the hospital.

enter le doctor.

boom - i felt like i was a successful pusher.

boom - doctor told me to pump the brakes on the pushing. so i have him some 1/2 pushes.

boom - the news at 6pm was on channel seven.

as everyone was looking at me and coaching me through the pushes, i was looking at the news between the contractions. and this is what i saw...

meet lisa holley. she was accused of faking cancer and pregnancy to get money from a fundraiser. would you like to read the article? click here.

so miss lisa was on the news and i couldn't help but say something. i was in between contractions and pushing so i said something along the lines of, "can we all have a look at this lady's mug shot?"

doctor, nurses, and farmer turned to have a look. i think we'll all remember miss lisa. how do you forget? seriously...can someone help me forget?

actually, we all laughed. comic relief for sure.

boom - a few minutes later, our little kaye bell schiermeier made her debut.

she. was. here.

cue the ugly cry. i have the ugly cry perfected...

7 pounds, 14 ounces.

19 3/4 inches.

beautiful, lovely, a little alien-looking, very cone-headed, quite blotchy, one blood-shot eye, a few stork bites.

but really? i've never seen a more insanely gorgeous bebe. i think that's just how it goes. perfection in a mother's eye.

instant love.

love love love.

love oozing out my eyes. we also call those tears.

love oozing out of my farmer's eyes. more tears.

love oozing out of nurse cathie's eyes. tears!

best day ever? i. think. so.

meet kaye bell...


  1. No sarcasm from me today Bell. Just love and sincere congrats.
    LOVE YOU and SO Happy for you!

  2. Yayy!! Congrats to you and your farmer!! So happy for you both, she's lovely :)

  3. Awesome birth story- thanks for sharing and Congratulations!!!!

  4. SO ADORABLE! What a great post! Congratulations!

    Sparkles and Shoes

  5. Yay!!! Love the story, love the name! CONGRATS!

  6. Congratulations!! She is really adorable, hope things are going well!

  7. Oh my goodness, she's adorable!! I loved your birth story (but whoa, that mugshot!) and you look fantastic for just having a baby! congrats!

  8. Congratulations! She's beautiful and you look absolutely amazing, Bell! Hope you all are doing well =)

  9. She is fantastic. So happy for you!

  10. Congratulations on your sweet baby!

  11. omgoodness. cutest birth story ever! congratulations!

  12. Congratulations!! I have been checking every day just waiting for this post. Enjoy every minute. It is magical watching a new baby learn and explore their new world.

  13. Congrats!! Absolutely beautiful!! Haha that story, jeez. I just watched Dr. Phil talk to a girl that faked her pregnancy for 9 months and said her dad pushed her down the stairs & the point is she is lying about it all because she has multiple personalities and makes up her friends. crazy stuff!!

  14. Wow she is beautiful! congratulations :) you are too funny I love that birth story

  15. Oh my soul! She's absolutely perfect. She looks so much like both of you already! A lot like her daddy :) And you look downright beautiful while g a baby, way to go, Mom!

  16. I've read this post like 4 times because I just love it that much. And every time I get to the mug shot I die a little. Hilarious moment. I have several other thoughts: Those scrubs are unflattering in a crazy way. I'm going to see to it that the group photo is displayed prominently in Dr. A's office. Still dusty. Loved everything about that day. Love Kaye. Love you. Still think its unfair how beautiful you looked before, during and after labor. xo

  17. Congratulations, she's beautiful and she looks so much like you! Enjoy your new babe!

  18. I am a brand spanking new follower (although I honestly can't remember quite how I got here?) and clearly couldn't have wandered over here at a better time! Congratulations on an adorable little one. She is gorgeous and I love love love her name. Enjoy every minute!

  19. Just found your blog and seriously love what you got going on over here. Little Miss Kaye is darling. Love that lisa holley got to be a part of your birth story-- I mean seriously, that's amazing. Aaaand you look real cute for having just delivered a bebe. Congrats, girl!

  20. Karli. Oh my God I love you! And so happy that wee one is finally here! You were only pregnant for what, a year or something? : )

    heart, Melanie from My Billie

  21. Love your birth story. And your so right about contractions and how they break you down, well put! I was to the point of "i cant do this" before my little guy would come out, haha!

  22. I'm just now reading this, a year later. Happy day of birth--what great documentation of her monumental day!

  23. such a sweet birth story! loved reading this!

  24. I just love this story....and you look great even AFTER giving birth. Girl...mess up your hair or something, would ya????


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