Top Social

.

December 28, 2011

do me a solid, yo

so. umm. can someone do me a solid and put a lock on my fridge, pantry...and for good measure, remove all christmas candy from the single-wide? thanks.

let me paint a picture of the severity of my request:
  1. i have these super baggy pants i wear to work on the house. they are the pants that i can hardly keep on. the pants i go to when i want to feel skinny. the pants that i don't even have to unbutton to take off. well folks, they are tight. and not tight in the "those pants are so tight, where did you get them?" kind of way. how did this happen?
  2. yesterday, as i nursed the backlash of one too many drinky-drinks, i sat and watched old episodes of teen mom 2, ate cake pops like they were tic tacs, followed by a few slices of ham and a good sized portion of week-old quesadilla casserole. who am i?! (side-note: that casserole needed to be eaten. it was going to go bad soon.)
  3. you know how when you are wearing jeans (or any pants for that matter), you sit down, grab said pants by the beltloops and ever so discreetly lift the waistband over your belly, creating the illusion of a flat stomach (or are we just kidding ourselves)? well, this tactic is no longer working for me. i pull the pants up and over only to creative another rolly-roll. it's a slippery slope, yo.
positive spin: you are not going to BELIEVE what my farmer got me for christmas! a treadmill. a really nice one! you can hook your computer up to watch movies, or your ipod, or you can get really fancy-schamncy and wire tv to it. it has a beautiful digital screen that will tell me how slow i'm running, how many calories i haven't burned, and how many miles i have left to run. the real kicker is it goes up to 17 miles per hour! trust me. my farmer tested it. we're lucky he has long legs or he may have been shot out the back window if he couldn't keep up. one last note about the treadmill: it sounds like a jet engine when it really gets goin'. impressive for sure.

so, i guess my farmer noticed my work-pants were getting a little snug as well, hence the treadmill. farmer likes to help me reach my goals. that's love. thanks farmer.
1 comment on "do me a solid, yo"
  1. serious, laughing my pants off! as I ever-so-slightly pull them up to insinuate a flat tummy:)

    ReplyDelete

this gal loves your comments so feel free to leave one or seven!

Custom Post Signature

Custom Post  Signature